September 17, 2023 — Pentecost +16A, Matthew 18:21-35

“Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if my brother or sister sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” ²² Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seventimes. “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him, and, as he could not pay, the lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him by the throat he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

How do we learn to forgive? Can we learn to forgive? Should we learn to forgive? How often must we forgive the same person? Who do we forgive? 

These are the questions we must ponder. I think forgiveness is the hardest aspect of the Christian life. Forgiveness in many instances is so difficult to offer — or accept.  

We can thank Peter for setting us all up for the big fall when it comes to forgiveness. He thinks he is being generous when he suggests to Jesus that “7” times should be enough. Beside the fact that the number seven is considered a “perfect” number, seven times sounds awfully generous when it comes to our forgiveness. Or, should I say, seven sounds like such a generous number because we believe that there should be a limit to our forgiveness. This is how us humans think — we tend to like to think these things should be limited. I mean, sure I can forgive people the little things, the little ways they sin against me — often and frequently. But the really big things, the big sins against me, well, I cannot nor should I be expected to forgive unlimited times. Why should I? Do I look like a fool or a doormat? Why should I allow people to abuse my generosity? 

Now Peter thinks he has is being magnanimous by suggesting “as many as” seven times. Just in how Peter asks the question we need to believe he has already stepped over the line for what should be acceptable. But Jesus has something else in mind — which is the usual way Jesus works. Jesus wants us to stretch our minds and stretch our faith.  

Forgiving is not necessarily forgetting…but it does inform.  

Forgiving is letting go…so that we can focus on faith. 

Forgiveness is about accepting that you cannot change the past — but also that the past does not have to maintain its hold upon you. When we forgive someone, we release the past — it no longer has its grip upon us. This is the best image of forgiveness I can give you — that of the unclenched fist. The more stuff we try to hold on to, the more closed our hands remain because we want to hold onto stuff — and the more closed our arms are to our bodies trying to hold onto the past and the hurts — well, that just means we cannot open our arms and hands to G-d to receive G-d’s love, mercy, forgiveness, and grace. 

Holding onto those things and not releasing them through our forgiveness, well, that is a great way to constipate our faith. While, on the other hand, when we forgive others, we then allow our minds, our actions and our blessings to be about the others in our lives — especially our relationship with G-d through Jesus Christ, all the while sustained by the Holy Spirit. Now, we cannot instantly become the most forgiving people — because this forgiveness business is hard — it cannot be forced — it takes time to live into this way of living.  

But, we can pray: pray that G-d will guide us to become more forgiving people — forgiving those who hurt us — and to pray for the courage to seek forgiveness from those we have hurt. We can also pray that we can offer ourselves the forgiveness we need for our own regrets, mistakes, and failures. And, finally, we can pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to be our guide — to give us the  power to be forgiving people — and to live in a Christian community who actively seeks to practice and to embody forgiveness — all the while living into the reality and knowing the blessing that G-d promises to forgive us every day. 

Pastor Dave