January 17, 2023 – “Family Stress”

“For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” Matthew 10:35-37

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.” James 4:1-2

{“Our eldest daughter, Ann, invited her college roommate to join our large family for Thanksgiving dinner. As families sometimes do, we got into a lively argument over a trivial subject until we remembered we had a guest in our midst. There was an immediate, embarrassed silence. “Please don’t worry about me,” she said. “I was brought up in a family too.”}

“I was brought up in a family too.” That is a funny line. It is a reminder that all of us have a variety of family experiences – many of them good – and many of them, well, not so good. Knowing this reality, I find it of great solace that the bible is filled with familial distress – situations where sons treat their fathers rudely, and brothers seek to kill one another. It reminds us that family problems were endemic within family dynamics since the beginning of time. In other words, we are not alone when we are faced with arguments and dissention in the home – and among siblings.

But what are we to do with statements from Jesus like, “I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.”

Jesus will go on to link this statement with a reference to taking up one’s cross: ‘Anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me’ (10:38). In other words, taking up the cross for the sake of Jesus is one that will open you up to persecution, ridicule, and even hatred. And if that persecution, ridicule and hatred comes from your family, then so be it. But this does not mean that we forsake our family in times of illness, and other difficulties that require much Grace. So dissention within the family is not something Jesus permits or endorses – Jesus is about love – love that is to be above all things, especially pride, ego, and getting our own way.

Jesus will go on to remind his followers that they are to “Honor their father and mother”. But if the dissention within the family is because someone is choosing to follow Jesus, then they have made the right choice. In other words, to follow Jesus is to come before selfish needs – even if that includes the family. So yes, this following Jesus thing is really hard.

Let us pray: Dear G-d, you challenge us to follow you to the end of the earth – and to put you above all things. But you also call me to honor my father and mother. Help me to find a balance between each calling. Amen.

Pastor Dave

January 16, 2023 – “Spewing Rhetoric”

“Now in the following instructions I do not commend you, because when you come together it is not for the better but for the worse. For, to begin with, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you; and to some extent I believe it. Indeed, there have to be factions among you, for only so will it become clear who among you are genuine. When you come together, it is not really to eat the Lord’s supper. For when the time comes to eat, each of you goes ahead with your own supper, and one goes hungry and another becomes drunk. What! Do you not have homes to eat and drink in? Or do you show contempt for the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing? What should I say to you? Should I commend you? In this matter I do not commend you! For I received from the Lord what I also handed on to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took a loaf of bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body that is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way he took the cup also, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in We  of me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.” 1 Corinthians 11:17-26

{When my son, William, was young, we belonged to a small country church. On Communion day, deacons would pass around the “bread and juice.” One Sunday, we attended a church out of town that was more formal. What our church called bread and juice, this one referred to as elements, a word William didn’t understand. As Communion began, the pastor said, “If the deacons will come forward, the elements will pass among us.” William was suddenly excited and I didn’t know why. Then he leaned toward me, whispering something that caused me to burst out laughing. With all eyes on us, I took him by the hand and we made a hasty exit. All the way to the car, he protested. “Mom, we’re going to miss the circus. The pastor said the elephants were going to pass among us!”}

We often speak about the fact that there is “…an elephant in the room” when there is something that goes unspoken among a group. In my opinion there are too many elephants in too many rooms because people are afraid to talk about their feelings and state their disagreements openly fearing retribution and condemnation.

Now, this is 21^st century America, and we are so divided in our society it is no wonder people are afraid to share their opinions. My Lord it took fifteen votes to determine who would be Speaker of the House because 21 members of his own party refused to vote unless they got their way.

I know that our society has become very sensitive and seemingly unable to “stomach” dissenting opinion – and not just dissenting opinion but the occasional faux pas or even the intentionally controversial statement or viewpoint. So, I am going to be intentionally controversial – I am not going to let the elephant in the room breathe any air – so here goes:

Why can’t we all just grow some thicker skin and not take ourselves and our opinions and our feelings so seriously all of the time?

Why can’t we take time to discern a comment, a situation, and a controversial opinion before we open our mouths and spew hatred and shout epithets at one another? Take time to consider your response – weigh your opinion – form your post before you act. And, if I may be so bold, take time to realize that just because someone says something controversial does not mean they are an idiot. Some of the smartest people in the world have held seriously radical views and dangerous opinions–people like Martin Luther, Jan Hus, and author Charles Bukowski. So, if you disagree with me, well, spew away – I can take it.

(the opinions expressed by this devotion writer are not representative of his or her viewpoint or to be given any weight toward his or her ability to express an informed opinion – all concerns should be given to the elephant in the room so that we can all just continue to loathe one another until a time in the future when Jesus renders all things unto himself.)

Let us pray: Dear G-d, give me a discerning mind and open heart so I may listen before I speak. Amen.

 Pastor Dave