“When Mary came where Jesus was and saw him, she knelt at his feet and said to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” ³³ When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. ³⁴ He said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” ³⁵ Jesus began to weep. ³⁶ So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” ³⁷ But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?” John 11:32-37

So we have been talking about the phrase “OK, Boomer”, and digging deeper into the reasons for why people from different generations do not always agree with one another. At first we were looking at why people resist change – and one of the reasons we were examining revolved around trust. Trust in necessary in all relationships – our trust in G-d – our trust in each other. And, so we are examining different aspects of trust. So we are on reason four you can follow to help you choose to trust again after a painful experience.

1. Allow Time To Grieve: There are reasons we lose our ability to trust – we are hurt by someone, we are taken advantage of, or we are lied to. Loss of trust can also involve loss of relationships. So not only are we grieving a loss, we are grieving our ability to trust our intuition in understanding people. The person you thought you knew turned out to be someone different – or you are grieving the life you had and the life you thought you would have forever. We know that grief involves stages like denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. It may take going through some or all of these stages before we might find ourselves being able to trust again.

Jesus came to Bethany, and his friend Lazarus had been dead four days. Lazarus’ sisters Mary and Martha had trusted that Jesus would be there to save their brother. But Jesus was delayed – and the sisters had lost hope, and trust. We can hear it in their words: “If you had been here, our brother would not have died.” And Jesus wept – I believe because of the loss of his friend, the lack of trust from the sisters, and, of course, his own grief.

But Jesus did not remain in his grief – he turned to his Father for support and understanding. Grief is important – but we must learn to use that grief to grow stronger in our faith, and in our trust. We are always losing something in life – but we never lose Jesus’ love and grace. Oh, we may lose our focus once in a while – but Jesus is always waiting for us to return, give our grief to him, and continue to grow in a relationship with him.

Pastor Dave

“If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. ¹⁶ But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷ If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. ¹⁸ Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. ¹⁹ Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.” ²¹ Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” ²² Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:15-22

So we have been talking about the phrase “OK, Boomer”, and digging deeper into the reasons for why people from different generations do not always agree with one another. At first we were looking at why people resist change – and one of the reasons we were examining revolved around trust. Trust in necessary in all relationships – our trust in G-d – our trust in each other. And, so we are examining different aspects of trust. So we are on reason three you can follow to help you choose to trust again after a painful experience.

1. Choose To Forgive: Forgiveness is important – but as Jesus teaches, forgiving others is a necessity, not a suggestion – and forgiveness is unlimited. So, yes, forgiving others is important – and that usually begins with learning to forgive yourself. It is natural for humans to blame ourselves for so many things. I talk with a lot of our older members of society who seem to have a problem with just this – they have held on to something they did to a spouse or a child for which they cannot forgive themselves. Look, we make bad decisions – we say dumb things – we forget to say thank you or to show appreciation. And we all have but one judge for whom it is important to confess our sins – and Jesus knows a contrite heart – and Jesus also has forgiven your past sins, your present sins, and your future sins.

No relationship, no person, no situation is perfect. Don’t try to convince yourself  otherwise. Instead, forgive yourself, and then allow that forgiveness to spread to others. Remember, when we pray the Lord’s Prayer, we pray “forgive us our sins as we have already and actively been forgiving the others in our lives”. Yes, that is not how it is written, but that is how it is intended – it is what we are saying, praying and promising. Forgiveness is a way of life – not just a formulaic prayer – it is to be lived – not just spoken.

Pastor Dave