June 12, 2016

One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house and took his place at the table. And a woman in the city, who was a sinner, having learned that he was eating in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster jar of ointment. She stood behind him at his feet, weeping, and began to bathe his feet with her tears and to dry them with her hair. Then she continued kissing his feet and anointing them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw it, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what kind of woman this is who is touching him—that she is a sinner.” Jesus spoke up and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” “Teacher,” he replied, “Speak.” “A certain creditor had two debtors; one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he canceled the debts for both of them. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “I suppose the one for whom he canceled the greater debt.” And Jesus said to him, “You have judged rightly.” Luke 7:36-43

“Who do you think would be more grateful, Jesus asks, a man whose debt of five hundred denarii was cancelled or the one forgiven fifty? A denarii was the value of about a day’s wages for labor. All that’s required here is a basic understanding of math. Simon knows how to count, and so answers that he supposes (“supposes”? – really, Simon, you only suppose?) it would be the man for whom the greater debt was cancelled. The obvious analogy is to the woman who…apparently has been forgiven much, perhaps ten times what others have been forgiven. Which explains why she is devoting herself to Jesus, weeping as she does. She is overcome by gratitude, the kind of gratitude understood only by someone who has been given everything.

But is forgiveness really everything? Can it possibly be worth that much? Consider: forgiveness at heart is the restoration of relationship. It is releasing any claim on someone else for some past injury or offense. That’s why the analogy to a debt works so well. Forgiveness cancels relational debt and opens up the future. Which is why it’s so important, so valuable. But it’s also something more. Forgiveness also gives you back yourself. You see, after a while, being indebted, owing others, knowing yourself first and foremost as a sinner — these realities come to dominate and define you. You are no more and no less than what you’ve done, the mistakes you’ve made, the debt you owe. When you are forgiven, all those limitations disappear and you are restored, renewed, set free. So, yes, forgiveness is everything.” (David Lose, working preacher website, Forgiveness & Gratitude, June 9, 2013)

Forgiveness is everything. There is no better way to say it. Forgiveness is a way of life – a way of living. For some people, the way they choose to live is to gather as much stuff as they can before they die. For others, the way they choose to live is to gather as many accolades, awards and achievements as they can before they die. And still others choose to refuse to forgive anyone allowing them to create a score card for each relationship they have. To live this way is to live a very inwardly focused, selfish and complicated life.

To live the way of forgiveness is to live in a self-less, outwardly focused and much less complicated life. You see, to choose not to forgive others means you are keeping score on how others have treated you. Holding grudges, fanning the flames of anger, and seething in your need for “getting even” is a complicated way to live. To live this way requires remembering all of the bad things, keeping score of them, and finding little room for appreciating the blessings you have. Believe me, I have watched others try to live this kind of life and ultimately the hatred and the grudges become all-consuming.

But that is the perspective of the one who is either offering or withholding forgiveness. What about the one who is seeking forgiveness? As David Lose writes, knowing that you need someone’s forgiveness creates a power vacuum within a relationship. The one who withholds the forgiveness is the one holding all of the power – while the one who is in need of forgiveness is not only powerless but held captive. When you choose to forgive others, you release them of a burden, but you also relieve yourself of a burden as well. When we choose to forgive others, we free them from the power of their sin against us – because they no longer have to live in and under that burden. And, when we choose to forgive others, we release ourselves of the burden of “keeping score” – which frees us to strengthen our relationship with Jesus who, after all is the one commanding us to love and forgive others. After all, forgiving others has little to do with the ones we forgive (when it comes to salvific implications) and has everything to do with our relationship with G-d (who gave us Jesus – the key component to salvation).
So, as I see it, we have a choice. We can choose to constipate our lives and our relationships by refusing to forgive. Or, we can free ourselves and be forgivers – as Jesus taught us to pray – we seek G-d’s forgiveness in the manner that we have lived, already forgiving the “others” in our lives.

Pastor Dave