April 11, 2016

‘And you shall not commit adultery. Deuteronomy 5:18

“What does this mean?
We should fear and love God so that we lead a sexually pure and decent life in what we say and do, and husband and wife love and honor each other.” (Martin Luther’s explanation to the Sixth Commandment – Small Catechism)

“But since this commandment is aimed directly at the state of matrimony and gives occasion to speak of the same, you must well understand and mark, first, how gloriously God honors and extols this estate, inasmuch as by His commandment He both sanctions and guards it. He has sanctioned it above in the Fourth Commandment: Honor thy father and thy mother; but here He has (as we said) hedged it about and protected it. Therefore He also wishes us to honor it, and to maintain and conduct it as a divine and blessed estate; because, in the first place, He has instituted it before all others, and therefore created man and woman separately (as is evident), not for lewdness, but that they should [legitimately] live together, be fruitful, beget children, and nourish and train them to the honor of God.” (Martin Luther’s explanation to the Sixth Commandment – Large Catechism)

I read a report the other week that said the divorce rate in the United States is between 40 and 50%. In other words, 40 to 50% of all marriages will end in divorce. But I also read another statistic, from the author of a book I am reading – he stated that 75% of all marriages have an unhappy relationship. Think about that. If it is true, ¾ of all marriages are comprised of people who are unhappy with the relationship – 75% of all marriages have a couple who have decided they must endure with the person to whom they are married rather than enjoy growing old together. The author stated it like this: couples are living with the poor decision they made when they were younger and less discriminating. It is no wonder then that adultery and adulterous relationships happen so often.

Our society has changed dramatically in the last forty years. Divorce, which was once a taboo in our society, now is accepted as readily as the belief in UFO’s. And our children, where once “dating” meant going to the movies and a sexual relationship was saved for engagement or marriage, being friends with someone has replaced dating, and “hooking up” is a sexual encounter with a friend or stranger met in a bar — dating is no longer in the vernacular. Casual sex is considered a part of having a “relationship” with someone, no matter if there are deeper feelings toward intimacy or a long term relationship.

Some where along the line, we have lost the idea of monogamy in relationships between partners – and younger people are not saving deeper intimacy like sex for a long-term relationship.

When a sexual relationship is considered a part of “being friends”, then we need not wonder why the rates of adultery have sky rocketed. If we want to recapture the “high esteem” G-d has for marriage, then we need to find a way to recapture the idea of saving sexual intimacy for long-term, committed, monogamous relationships.

Pastor Dave